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校园四人小对话考研英语作文

88分
2025-11-13 11:05:13

校园四人小对话考研英语作文

人物: xiao ling (x), lanlan(l) yani,(y) songtao(s)

地点: 校园

xiao ling and lanlan are on their way to the dormitory. xiao ling drops a book and yani and songtao who happen to be right behind them, pick up the book and give it back to them.

y: excuse me, is this your book?

x: thank you so much.

y: you are welcome. are you new admits?

x : yes. we just came to register yesterday. my name is xiao ling. nice to meet you. this is my best high school friend lanlan.

y: my name is yani. nice to meet you, too. this is my friend since childhood, songtao.

s: hi! we both came from xxx.

l: really? i am from that city, too. we are all town fellows aren’t we?. it’s such a small world.

s: absolutely. we both major in computer science. what’s your major?

x: accounting. i don’t really like it. but my parents said this school offers excellent accounting programs and it will be easier for me to get a job later on.

l: my major is education. i want to be a teacher. i think it is cool.

s: i picked my own major because i know what i want. i just like computers a lot. i would like to be a computer programmer in the future.

y: well, i don’t know wether i really like it or not. i just follow songtao where he goes.

x: i feel bad for those students who make it to the top but had to quit school because of financial problems.

s: my parents paid some of my tution and i said to myself that i want to be a somebody. but no matter how much i do, i will never be able to repay my parents for what they have done for me.

l: i think i will find some off campus jobs in summer. i don’t want to be a burden to my family . my parents have been working hard all their lives.

x: lanlan, you are great.

s: look. the boys are playing basketball now. i will join them. see you !

x: let’s keep in touch, ok?

l: i don’t have a cell phone. can i send you e-mails?

y: sure. here is my cell phone number. 12345678

and this is my e-mail address. please write to me.

l: i will.

x: this is mine.:22334455.i am so glad to meet you. take care!

y and s: bye!

【校园四人小对话考研英语作文】

写作思路解析

叙事节奏张弛有度,凭借真实鲜活的事例叙述支撑文章观点流露真情实感,画面层次丰富立体,远近动静相互搭配,空间感十足。文章叙述不急不躁,段落衔接顺滑,核心观点稳固鲜明。作者依托亲身经历进行创作,表达真诚不浮夸,通篇读起来通顺自然,适合借鉴。

本文范文仅作写作思路参考,请勿直接照搬抄袭用于作业投稿。

作文打分:88分(满分100)

存在不足

!文章升华力度不足,叙事结束之后感悟较为浅显,没能进一步拔高主旨。描写手法运用单一,过多依靠叙述,环境、神态、细节描写运用较少,写作手法略显单调。

改进建议

多练习场景还原式写作,用细节代替概括介绍,搭建完整画面。梳理情感变化脉络,层层递进展现情绪,让情感转变更加顺滑自然。积累多样化句式,长短句结合,增强文字节奏感。

作文优点

素材丰富多元,不会局限于单一事例,多角度支撑中心观点。段落篇幅分配合理,不会出现头重脚轻的问题,结构观感均衡协调。

综合点评

叙事视角稳定统一,文风前后一致,阅读感受连贯。善于借助事件抒发情绪,拒绝空洞抒情。部分语句略显啰嗦,存在意思重复的现象,精简文字之后质感会更好。

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