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题目为父母榜样的力量的作文

91分
2025-11-14 14:35:33

题目为父母榜样的力量的作文

Directions:

Write an essay of 160—200 words based on the following picture in your essay, you should

1. describe the pictures briefly,

2. interpret its intended meaning, and

3. give your comments.

You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

参考范文:

As is vividly depicted in the first picture there is a father watching TV and asking his son to study hard, with his son being unable to concentrate on his study. The second picture portrays that the son and the father are studying hard together. At the lower part of the picture is a caption which implies that it is wise for parents to set a good example for their children by action rather than by words.

It occurs to me that the author of the drawing aims at reminding us of the the value of a good example by parents. First and foremost, examples speak louder than words, for it is widely accepted that an example enables each person to transform his or her aspirations from a state of potentiality into reality. Put it another way, parents’ example enables their children to improve them selves, so they can be qualified for the future job, be ready for the forthcoming life, and they are likely to achieve more fulfillment. Furthermore, according to a latest survey conducted by an authority on the Internet, the majority of people interviewed answer that parents’ action produces more positive influence on the growth of their children than oral requirements do.

Hence, it is vital for us to derive positive implications from the above pictures. For one thing, we should frequently use it to enlighten young parents. For another, we should cultivate the awareness of parents that personal examples are very vital to kid’s growth. Only by doing so can children grow sound in body and mind.

【题目为父母榜样的力量的作文】

写作思路解析

铺叙流畅自然,运用借古喻今的表达手法拓展思考维度增强感染力,内容饱满充实厚重,素材选用恰当,不存在单薄空洞问题,情感流淌毫不刻意。情绪跟随叙事自然流露,不存在强行抒情。行文行云流水,段落衔接顺滑,阅读体验极佳。

本文范文仅作写作思路参考,请勿直接照搬抄袭用于作业投稿。

作文打分:91分(满分100)

改进建议

优化开篇写法,精简铺垫,快速切入主题。学习运用情景过渡串联段落,减少生硬连接词语。

作文优点

叙事视角稳定,全程保持统一口吻,文风协调统一。具备基础细节意识,能够简单刻画场景,搭建基础画面。

综合点评

文字风格清爽朴实,阅读感受轻松舒适,适合日常习作。内容体量充足,素材支撑有力。详略把控存在短板,关键情节笔墨偏少,次要内容占用过多篇幅,主次辨识度不足。

存在不足

!感悟集中堆砌在结尾,没有穿插在叙事当中,叙事与抒情割裂。缺少伏笔铺垫,前后内容关联性不强。

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