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caringfornature1000字

84分
2025-09-23 09:11:09

The rapid rise in world population is not creating problems only for the developing countries. the whole world faces the problem that raw materials are being used up at an increasing rate and food production can not keep up with the population increase. people in rich countries make the heaviest demands on the world’s resources, its food, fuel and land, and cause the most pollution. a baby born in the united states will use in his lifetime 30 times more of the world’s resources than a baby born in india. unless all the countries of the world take united action to deal with the population explosion there will be more and more people fighting for a share of less and less land, food and fuel, and the future will bring poverty, misery and war to us all.

for most of the developing countries, it is a good idea to control the population growth. for example, china has carried out birth control for years. and this plan has a great effect on the world population.

if the population continues to increase, if the air and water continue to be polluted, if we don’t do something to protect wild-plant and wildlife species will be declining. species and biological communities have difficulty adapting to change. economic opportunities and the quality of life of future generations are also put at risk. by protecting nature, we protect ourselves.

let’s unite together, hand in hand we stand all across the land.

we can make this world in which to live. hand in hand. control the population growth. take good care of our nature.

写作思路解析

重视首尾相互呼应,依托移步换形的描写方式展现事物变化串联全文,感悟自然不生硬说教,道理融入叙事,不会强行灌输观点,整体浑然一体。文章形成完整闭环结构,开头结尾相互照应。叙事脉络连贯统一,中心稳定,谋篇布局成熟,多处写作技巧值得学习。

本文范文仅作写作思路参考,请勿直接照搬抄袭用于作业投稿。

作文打分:84分(满分100)

综合点评

习作体量充足,素材支撑有力,阅读流畅。详略规划不够合理,重点情节一笔带过,次要内容过度展开,主次区分不明显。

存在不足

!构思思路保守,选材缺乏新意,容易和其他习作撞题材。段落内部语序可以微调,进一步提升行文流畅度。

改进建议

尝试将内心感悟穿插在叙事当中,不要全部集中在结尾,做到边叙事边抒情。多观察身边独特小事,积累小众素材,摆脱千篇一律的写作内容。

作文优点

具备基本的立意升华意识,结尾能够简单总结感悟。叙事条理清楚,段落划分合理,整体完成度良好。

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