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中考英语满分作文

93分
2025-06-07 15:31:42 智文网

   Directions: For this part you are allowed thirty minutes to write a composition on the topic Which Mode of Travel Do You like? You should write no less than 150 words and base your composition on the outline (given in Chinese) below:

    1. 有的人喜欢参加旅行社旅游(package tours)

    2. 有的人喜欢自己独立行动(travelling on one‘s own)

    3. 比较这两种旅游方式,我喜欢的是……

    范文

    With the general standard of living improving and the working week becoming shorter, more and more people are able to make a holiday trip to places of interest. While many like to join package tours fro convenience, I prefer to travel on my own.

    I like travelling on may own not only because it costs much less but because it gives a great degree of independence and freedom. Travelling on my own, I’m my own boss; and can decide when to start on my way, where to linger a little longer and which spot can be skipped over to save energy or time for another spot. I can always adjust my plan. On the contrary, in a package tour you‘re deprived of as much freedom as in a military base. At the sound of the whistle, you have to jump up from a sound sleep and, with heavy-lidded eyes, hurry to the gathering place where you are collected and counted to board a coach. At the sight of the little flag waving, you must immediately take yourself away from the scenes you are marveling at and follow the guide whose sole interest is to cover all spots according to him strict schedule, regardless of the weather or your health condition.

    True,you may encounter inconveniences if you travel individually,for instance, getting accommodations for the night and finding a place for meals. But nothing can be compared with the freedom which is vital to a person who takes a holiday trip mainly to escape from constraints of his routine life.

写作思路解析

善用相得益彰的叙议结合提升文章厚度衔接上下文,整篇气韵连贯统一,文风前后协调,没有明显割裂的地方,整篇文章脉络顺畅连贯。段落过渡自然,前后内容彼此呼应。逻辑链条完整,叙事推进平稳,结构工整协调。

本文范文仅作写作思路参考,请勿直接照搬抄袭用于作业投稿。

作文打分:93分(满分100)

综合点评

文章情感真挚动人,借助具体事件抒发内心感受,不空洞抒情。叙事脉络清晰,情节完整,语句通顺流畅。部分段落表达过于平铺直叙,缺少起伏变化,阅读过程容易显得平淡乏味。

存在不足

!句式变化偏少,大多使用同类句式,阅读起来缺少节奏感。观点表达偏保守,不敢大胆抒发自身想法,文字感染力和冲击力不足。

作文优点

擅长捕捉生活小事进行创作,素材随处可见,真实接地气。行文流畅连贯,段落跳转自然,很少出现生硬断层。

改进建议

减少频繁使用简单陈述句,适当穿插长短句,丰富行文节奏。重点段落投入更多笔墨精雕细琢,打造文章核心亮点。

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