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描写圣诞节的英文作文600字

91分
2025-11-04 15:40:12

描写圣诞节的英文作文范文600字

It was one of the last days before christmas, and the as sistants in the large store had their hands full serving eager christmas shoppers.

At one counter an old lady was choosing gloves red ones for her daugher in law, light blue ones for her niece, pink ones for her grand daughter, green ones for her sister and by the time she had found what she wanted, the counter was covered with pairs of all colors and sizes.

When the salesgirl had finally written out the bill and was about to turn to the next customer with a tired voice. "thank you very much, madam," the old lady suddenly cried out, "oh, i almost forgot..."——"anything else, madam?" said the girl, "yes," began the old lady, "i‘d like to buy another pair, but i‘ m not quite sure about what exactly i should cloose. i wonder if you could help me." "certainly, madam", was the girl‘s reply. the old lady then went on to explain that what she was looking for was a pair of gloves for a girl of her age. she was not at ail sure what color to choose, and the design was a problem too.

The tired girl did her best to help the old lady make up her mind, showing her ail kinds of gloves.

At last the chosen pair of gloves were wrapped up and paid for as well, and as the girl was about to turn to the next customer, the old lady handed her a little parcel and said, "these now, dear, these are for you and thank you for being so patient. i do hope you have a merry christmas !"

【描写圣诞节的英文作文范文600字】

写作思路解析

善于借助外物寄托心绪,活用情理兼备的夹叙夹议平衡叙事感悟实现情景互通,叙事丰满有血有肉,不只简单记事,兼顾情绪与思考表达。不直白诉说情绪,依托景物、事物委婉表达。含蓄内敛的表达技巧,适合抒情类作文。

本文范文仅作写作思路参考,请勿直接照搬抄袭用于作业投稿。

作文打分:91分(满分100)

改进建议

↓写完文章大声朗读,找出语句不通顺、重复啰嗦的地方修改。构思时主动设计微小冲突,让叙事不再平铺直叙。

综合点评

◆习作体量充足,素材支撑有力,阅读流畅。详略规划不够合理,重点情节一笔带过,次要内容过度展开,主次区分不明显。

存在不足

!习惯使用短句平铺陈述,长短句搭配不足,行文缺少韵律感。重点情节没有放慢节奏细致刻画,一笔带过十分可惜。

作文优点

★文字温润柔和,情感表达克制得体,不会过度煽情。叙事客观完整,能够完整还原事件经过,表达稳重,适合记叙类文体写作。

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