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英语游记作文

84分
2025-03-19 15:06:12 智文网

    If Sydney is crowned as New York of South Pacific Ocean, then, Melbourne can be said as London here.

    This is an ancient city, and meanwhile a beautiful ‘garden city’, streets are orderly paved like chessboard, various buildings of both ancient and modern styles are harmoniously blended, there are quite a few operas and Broadway musicals on show here everyday.

    This is also Australia’s residential center for immigrants. Most of the immigrants who flocked into Australia live in Melbourne and Sydney. Immigrants started their new life here but keep their own traditions and customs. Wanna taste Italian food and drinks? Just go to Lygon street. Wanna know Chinese culture? Then visit China Town. In China Town, there are not only Chinese restaurants, but also Malaysian, Thailand and Japanese restaurants, so this is not just a window for you to get to know Chinese people, but a best place to know East Asian people and South East Asian people as well.

    Goods sold in China Town are quite unique. You’ll embrace a variety of choices and also reasonable prices, that’s why China Town is so popular among tourists. My companions all came back with large and small shopping bags, and reluctant to leave until they bought too much to carry.

    What worth mention, traveling in Melbourne, the most forgettable experience is to watch the homing of the smallest penguins in the world. In a place 140 kilometers south of Melbourne, there’s a tiny island called Philip. Every dusk, groups of penguins stagger back to their home. Their teeter when stepping onto the bank is extremely lovely.

写作思路解析

借文字吐露内心心声,运用虚实相生的虚实结合拓展想象空间铺展故事,文字内敛充满力量,平静叙述之下蕴藏深厚情感,读者能够读懂作者真实的内心世界。依托叙事承载情绪,情感流露自然不刻意。故事脉络完整,情绪层层递进,极易引发读者共情。

本文范文仅作写作思路参考,请勿直接照搬抄袭用于作业投稿。

作文打分:84分(满分100)

综合点评

文字表达通顺流畅,叙事完整规范,写作基础扎实。擅长环境描写烘托氛围,但人物心理刻画偏少,人物形象不够鲜活立体。

存在不足

!段落长短悬殊过大,阅读观感不协调。缺少有意识的首尾呼应,文章完整度尚有提升空间。

作文优点

句式丰富多变,不会一直使用同一种句型。场景描写具备基础画面感,能够简单还原事发场景。

改进建议

练习情景交融写法,借助景物烘托人物心情。梳理全文逻辑链条,保证思路连贯统一。尝试设置简单冲突制造情节起伏,摆脱平淡叙事,提升文章可读性。

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